Training went really well through 2020 and lock-down gave me so much time to train I was buzzing to start racing. 2021 was looking positive as I was following the training programme Tim had set for my planned events, but my racing has been far from ideal as my mind has not been playing the game. I love to train, but the effort of getting up and travelling to races was becoming a big problem!

I have always suffered with nerves the week leading up to a race, with these nerves getting worse as race day gets gets closer, but I have always been able to get to the event and through 2018 & 2019 had some great results. Things changed for the worse during Covid and didn’t get any better when restrictions were lifted. I was entering races and having the normal nerves leading up to the event, but then on the morning of the event I just didn’t want to travel, I wasn’t even nervous, I just couldn’t be bothered! I had never experienced this type of feeling before, and race by race I just didn’t go, making up any old excuse to not waste my day. I constantly read a book on sports psychology - The Brave Athlete: Calm the F*ck Down and Rise to the Occasion - and this book has always helped with my nerves and given me the tools to train and race well, but this new feeling of ‘can’t be arsed’ was annoying after the event had passed.

So five events entered and five races missed, did I still have the passion to race? Did I need to look at other types of events, longer MTB and CX endurance races rather than the XC events I usually enter. After meeting Tim for a coffee (and cake) talking about my lack of commitment and thoughts on future plans for alternative racing, Tim suggested I entered a Central League CX race. Do the nerves I feel, and now this new found ‘can’t be arsed’ attitude stem from the pressure I put on myself racing the Eastern League, where I generally get good results, have a good gridding position and in my head feel people expect good results from me (notice I say ‘in my head’). As Tim said, if I entered a Central League race, I’d be gridded at the back, only know Tim at the event and will have no pressure to get a good result so can just race to see if the passion is still there…..

So I entered Central CX round 5 at Corby.

The only person that knew I was racing was Tim, I didn’t want to feel any pressure from outside of my little bubble. Race day arrived and I had not had any nerves all week, this was a first! I got up on the morning of the race, and still no nerves, yes the thought of not going flashed through my mind briefly, but this was more conscious thought from the past and dismissed instantly. In fact I was quite looking forward to it. Training had been going well, and I was fully prepared for the 45 minutes of effort to come. I arrived at the event and a few logistical issues meant I would only have time for a quick warm up and course recce, certainly not ideal and something that would have stressed me out in the past. I was able to do one easy lap before being called up for gridding.

From the back of the grid I couldn’t see Tim so knew it was going to be hard work to get anywhere near him! On past experience getting through the latter half of the field at the start of a race can be hard work, crashes galore, less experienced racers getting in the way, bottlenecks at pinch points and I had all of these to overcome during lap one. I got a great start, avoiding two crashes within the first few metres, diving down the inside at every opportunity and pushing as hard as I could to gain as many places as possible. By the end of lap one I had gone from 65th to 40th (so my wife said). I settled in to a rhythm pushing really hard on the open stretches and recovering in the technical sections, and suddenly I got the odd glimpse of Tim in his St Ives CC jersey. By the middle of lap two I was in 30th position and had locked on to the next rider in front BUT then my luck ran out! One minute I was accelerating through a wooded section, the next my rear tyre blew and I was on the rim, race over! It turned out that I had either hit a piece of glass or sharp rock which cut a 1 cm slit in my sidewall. Just 15 minutes of racing, 65th to 30th and I was buzzing, the passion was still there and I cannot wait to race again soon, which is a good job as I have entered the World Masters CX race in December!

Now it’s time to understand why I get the nerves and ‘can’t be arsed’ feeling and work on combating them along with training and racing.

Andy Fountain

Central CX Rd 5 Rockingham, 14 Nov 2021

© Catenary CoachinG